I’m Trying to Stop Hiding My Growth

Hi there! I know it’s been awhile. I’ve been busy with a new job, a new role(Operations Lead role with a Logistics company) and finishing school. I’ll be a college grad next month. I almost can’t believe it, and frankly I’m really ready to graduate. But today isn’t about any of that. If you’ve read my home page, you’ll notice that I said I’ll be sharing the ups and downs, failures and successes, the “Look at me go!” and the “Man, I really really don’t think I’m a real developer." moments. I meant that.

For years, I was too shy to post my projects on GitHub.

Not because I was not building anything. I was. I would practice, experiment, follow tutorials, break things, fix them, and learn from the process. But when it came time to actually push my work publicly, I would hesitate.

There was always a reason not to do it.

The code was not clean enough. (Probably wasn’t)
The project was too simple. (Probably was)
Someone else had already built something better. (Of course)
My README was not polished. (I just learned how to do them properly)
My commit history was messy. (*side eye*")
I was still learning. (Always, that’s why I chose this path in the first place)

Underneath all of those excuses was the real reason: I was afraid of being seen before I felt “ready.”

GitHub can feel intimidating when you are early in your tech journey. It is easy to look at other people’s profiles and assume everyone else is more organized, more advanced, and more confident. Their projects look complete. Their repositories look professional. Their contributions look consistent. Meanwhile, your own work can feel unfinished or unimpressive by comparison.

For a long time, I treated GitHub like a final portfolio instead of what it really is: a record of growth.

That mindset has really held me back.

I would build something, learn from it, and then leave it sitting on my computer where no one could see it. I kept waiting for the perfect project, the perfect skill level, or the perfect moment. But perfection never came. What did come was the realization that hiding my work was not protecting me. It was limiting me.

At some point, I had to be honest with myself: if I wanted to grow as a developer, I needed to get comfortable being visible as a learner.

That shift changed everything.

Now, I push what I build.

Not only the projects that feel impressive. Not only the ones that look polished. Not only the ones I think someone else will approve of. I’ve started to push the practice projects, the small experiments, the class assignments, the backend logic, the frontend layouts, the broken attempts that taught me something, and the rebuilt versions that show improvement.

Every commit is proof that I showed up.

I have learned that GitHub is not just about showing what you already know. It is about documenting how you are learning, how you think, and how you improve over time. A simple project can still show problem-solving. A basic app can still show consistency. A messy first version can still show progress when the next version is better.

That matters.

Overcoming the fear of posting my projects did not happen because I suddenly became fearless. It happened because I stopped requiring myself to feel confident before taking action. I learned to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. I started treating GitHub as part of the process instead of a place I only belonged after becoming “good enough.”

The truth is, confidence comes after repetition.

The more I push my work, the less intimidating it feels. The more I build publicly, the easier it becomes to own my progress. I am no longer waiting until everything is perfect to show that I am learning. I am letting the work speak for itself.

The next fear I am working through is peer programming.

That one feels different because it is not just about putting code online. It is about letting someone see how I think in real time. It is letting someone watch me pause, troubleshoot, second-guess myself, look things up, and figure things out while the process is still messy.

Imposter syndrome plays a huge role in that fear.

Even when I know I am learning and improving, there is still that voice that says I should already know more. That I will ask the wrong question. That I will slow someone down. That someone will realize I am not as capable as I am trying to become.

But I am starting to understand that peer programming is not a performance. It is collaboration. Developers look things up. Developers get stuck. Developers talk through problems. The point is not to appear perfect. The point is to think, communicate, learn, and build with someone else.

For anyone else who is afraid to post their projects, I get it. It can feel vulnerable to put your code where people can see it. But your work does not have to be perfect to be worth sharing. You do not have to be an expert to document your growth. You do not need permission to take up space as someone who is learning.

Push the project.

Write the README.

Commit the changes.

Let your GitHub show the version of you that kept going.

That is what I am choosing to do now. I spent years being too shy to post my projects, but I am not hiding my growth anymore. Everything I build is part of the story, and I want my GitHub to reflect that.

And next, I am working on overcoming my fear of peer programming. Because sharing finished code is one kind of vulnerability, but letting someone see my thought process in real time is another. Imposter syndrome still shows up there. It tells me I should already know more, move faster, or need less help.

But I am learning that growth does not happen by waiting until I feel perfectly confident. It happens by doing the thing scared, learning through the discomfort, and realizing I belonged in the room before I felt ready.